Why do I do these things? Commit in writing to massive, painful projects which will undoubtedly consume my life through the sheer force of their boringitude? Ah well, question for another day. Onwards!
Plot: Bella goes home from school, moping as she tries to figure out what's wrong with her. I make sympathetic noises. She buys groceries, starts dinner, emails her mother. I make bored noises. She goes to school. Edward Cullen is gone. She thinks it must be her fault, then mopes about being so irrational. I consult the OED and spend several minutes contemplating all possible meanings of the word "depression." Eventually, Edward comes back. He looks healthier. He and Bella meet-cute doing a lab project. I youtube "grass growing" for background excitement. Bella tells her life story, then mopes about spilling to a complete stranger. While leaving the parkinglot, she almost backs into a car. Edward laughs. Finis.
Rant: I once dated a girl who got offered a modeling contract at the age of fifteen. She was, as the great sage Zoolander put it, really ridiculously good looking. The relationship lasted about four weeks, by which time I'd realised that she was an awful person who I never wanted to speak with, ever again. Point being, just because someone has nice bonestructure doesn't make them a good or even worthwhile companion. Now, teenagers (and even 23 year olds like me) frequently think with their hormones and ask questions later. I'm not saying this is a bad thing, btw. Some of the best nights of my life have started with exactly that line of thinking. My problem is that Twilight already seems to be fetishizing Edward based solely on his appearance. Put differently, he's awesome because he's hot. That's… not a good way to judge people.
In fact, all of the characters are so one dimensional they might as well be printed. Mike is an eager puppy, Charlie is awkward, Bella has the self-esteem of fresh roadkill. The Cullens are beautiful. Its early days, so perhaps we'll see things like depth and complex motivations later on but… No, let's be real, probably not. How many chapters do I have left again?
Other thoughts… First, this entire chapter is Ambien-overdose levels of soporific. Wordy and flaccid and terribly paced. Great authors, the ones who write real characters with interesting worldviews, can make internal monolgue thoroughly awesome. Stephenie Meyer is the other kind. Bella is so meek, its kind of stunning that anything actually happens to her. I found myself getting semi-interested when she contemplated demanding Edward explain his behaviour, but then it never happened and things got boring again. Great characters, almost invariably, shape the world around them. This crap reads like a highschooler's rolodex. Things happened, duly noted. Now for the love of God please do something about it.
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