Twilight, 6

In which, to my endless astonishment, I don't hate everything.

Plot: Bella looks out her window and sees her truck safely returned, presumably by the mysterious Alice (who I am very not looking forward to meeting). She goes to school, and finds the good weather sufficiently inspiring that she mopes about Edward being away with his brother. I try to decide if she needs a slap or a hug. Possibly both… The next day, Bella joins the eager puppy (Mike) and several others on a trip to the beach. After some wandering, during which SM trys and fails to write proper descriptions of what I'm sure is a stunning landscape, Bella meets a native kid, Jacob, and hilariously flirts him into telling tribal stories. Jacob mentions that his tribe is supposedly descended from wolves (that sound you hear is foreshadowing putting a dent in the floor), and that they are the enemies of the blood-drinking "Cold Ones." Bella and Jake decide to be friends. I nod approvingly.

Mildly Rantish Thoughts: This is, by far, the best chapter of Twilight I've read. That fact does not, for reasons I'll get to a bit later, make me optimistic for the book or series as a whole, but I'll give credit where its due. So, why is it good? First, the pacing is excellent. Things happen, quickly and dynamically, and in such a way that I feel I've gotten to know the world and the characters better as a result. This, if anyone was wondering, is the function of plot in books that might accurately be called "literature." Second, Jacob is already my favorite character in the novel. He is awkward, intelligent, warm, funny, and a bit of a showoff. A fairly normal teenage guy, in other words. He has a genuine and distinct personality, and speaks in a unique voice. That, ladies and gents, is what a real character looks like. Especially one that is not shoehorned into the plot, but is allowed to breathe a little and act like a human being. Third, Bella and Jacob have a conversation. They do not declaim at each other, but speak in a way that I can buy as the first meeting between two teenagers experiencing some mild mutual attraction. Fourth, and this is the reason the chapter does not fill me with optimism for the rest of the book, Edward Cullen is not in it.

Stephenie Meyer is telling a very specific story here, the story of how Edward and Bella get all happily-ever-after. That fact should be obvious to everyone who's made it this far, assuming you all read English and possess a functioning frontal cortex. It's inevitable. And it's sucking the life out of the book. See, good novels depend on tension. The protagonist establishes a goal early on, and the plot comes from his/her attempt to achieve the goal.  I've read six chapters of the first book in a long series, and there isn't a doubt in my skull that Bella will get what she wants. Sure, other authors (GRRM most notably and brutally) will tease sucess as a way to set up a sucker-punch, but this aint that kind of rodeo. All of which is a very long-winded way of saying: The main plot of the book, the "romance" between Bella and Edward, is boring and pointless. All I'm looking at is a very long journey towards something I already know is going to happen. This is why the best chapter of the book, tonights, is also the first that's related only tangentially to the main plot.

There is hope for Stephenie Meyer as an author, but I don't think this is going to be the book that fulfills it. And that, as they say, is that. Goodnight everybody, we'll talk tomorrow. Peace.