the greatest joke

The tagline under the title of this blog is a bit of a joke. I sleep less than is advisable or probably healthy. Usually this is for stupid reasons, procrastinated work or coiled energy or simply because I'm afraid to miss anything fun. I have nothing against sleep, you see, but I don't regard it as an especially productive use of my time. The joke though, the joke on all of us, is that the nights do end. Even if we summon the energy to keep our eyes raised until sunlight hits our faces, all the daytime restraints of responsibility and maturity come rushing back and the nightime freedom drifts away like smoke through a sieve. The trick, then, is to find something that makes the days worthwhile. That was my mistake for so long, to treat light as something to be endured before the wild trackless infinity returned. Now… I'm not sure. Its too early to be certain, but I think I might've found it. The adrenaline still sings in my blood. But will it always, I wonder. Routine dulls all things. Is there a way to find it forever? Or is that even nessecary? People keep telling me I've matured, grown up. I don't know if I want to, to be content with anything less than that feeling of the first day after finding love. Then again, when its finally real, maybe every day is the first….